5 out of 10: Rental
Director: Kayrn Kusama
Stars: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, and Adam Brody
Jennifer's Body is a cheesy horror flick about a teenage girl (Megan Fox) who gets possessed by the devil in a small little town. Her best friend (Amanda Seyfried) is starting to expect little changes about the popular cheerleader, and the whole town is starting to get a little curious about all the missing people.
WARNING: The following contains spoilers that could potentially ruin the movie for you. I highly suggest you read this after you see the movie. You've been warned.
EDIT: Sorry this review is so scatter-brained. I'm trying to dig through my memory and also deal with the stress. plus I set a deadline for myself, so I am trying to power through it!
So, Jennifer's Body, eh? Where to start with this one....
First of all, there are two different HUGE demographics for this movie, and I'm not too sure if it's good or bad. The first, obviously, is the male population. Duh. I mean, put Megan Fox into any movie (whether it's a drama, action, adventure, romantic comedy) and BAM. every man will see it whether they like it or not. The other, kind of odd, demographic is the Diablo Cody Fan Club population. Yes, the movie was written by her, so it's got all the smack talk and girl power as her most popular movie "Juno," but it's evil at the same time.
So let's talk a bit about this movie.
Being a part of the second demographic, I went to see it because it seemed interesting and fun. But to be honest, I felt a little bit jipped. First of all, Megan Fox may have the looks, but she is a H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E actress. I'm a little more than disappointed in her because she is only in it because of her whore-ish looks and even then she is not the most gorgeous person.
Okay, one huge huge HUGE note here: SHE IS TOO OLD TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL!!! I mean, okay, Amanda Seyfried: understandable, Johnny Simmons: for sure, but Megan Fox? Jeez! She looked like she could be in her like early twenties! No way is she a freaking high school student! But besides that....
Amanda Seyfried was interesting. Although she is cute as can be with her little phrases and giant glasses, and she is probably my favorite part of the movie. At least this time she actually got to kick some ass, instead of stand in the sidelines or be totally girly. Her relationship with her boyfriend was just adorable and the audience really cares about her... especially knowing that she lives in the end (because you see it in the beginning).
Alright, let's get into the actual film.
So the whole plot is this: Jennifer and "Needy" are best friends. Jen is a cheerleader, prep, hot girl, slut (basically), while "Needy" is a total nerd. They became friends when they were super young, so the logistics check out there. "Needy" is dating Chip, who is a band geek, but a really super nice guy. Okay. now that that's out of the way, here's the actual actual plot. Jen drags "Needy" (I'm gonna stop with the quotes) to an indie concert at this weird little bar venue in their small little town. Basically, Jen is like looking to hook up with the lead singer so she gets Needy to be like a groupie. Then, like out of the blue, the freaking bar completely burns down. and like everyone dies. Except for the band, Jen, Needy, and a few people here and there. The band like kidnaps Jen and Needy goes home, like freaking out (Which is totally natural *COUGH*PONYO*COUGHCOUGH*). Then, Jen shows up at her house all bloody, throws up a giant puddle of black metallic needly substance, and threatens to kill Needy.
So basically, the rest of the movie involves Jen killing random boys to regain her strength.
Okay, first of all, what I've told pretty much everyone is this: I wish that they could've replaced Megan Fox with someone else. She's pretty and all (and will make this movie lots and lots and lots of money), but she is just so bad. But the problem with this movie is that no one else can play that part but her. I mean, she's "beautiful," glowing, glamorous, and just plain girly. This movie would not be as cheesy and silly without her because she is essentially a cheesy-silly-kind of beautiful. But that's the problem. I have 0 sympathy for her because I hate her. and because of that, this movie has like no effect on me at all. However, when she killed both Colin and Chip? I was gonna like kill her myself. Bitch. Both of them were great.
Anyways, the whole subplot though cracked me up! Basically, the Indie band kidnapped her and took her to "Devil's Hole" or whatever their city is called to sacrifice her to the devil. Yes. an indie band sacrificing what they THINK is a virgin (okay, yeah freaking right). And wanna know why? Because they want to be rich and famous. That was not only like the best scene in the movie, and not only was it the only scene that you feel bad for Megan Fox (which is astonishing), but I laughed out loud at the majority of the lines. Hilarious, gory, and explanatory.
One thing that bothered me a bit was the random phrases that Jen and Needy shared together. "You're just Jello" "Cheese n' Crackers!" those types of things. Like, they were cute and all (and if you know "Juno," very Diablo Cody-esque) but after a while they got a little bit annoying. I think the only reason they're tolerable in Juno was because she was such a likeable character (and at least in my opinion she was a lot easier to connect myself with). Megan Fox is like from another world to us, average girls. Trying to relate to her is like trying to say that peanut butter and jello are amazing together (please don't try it, and if you do, tell me how it is). I just couldn't enjoy it because of where it was coming from.
Overall, I enjoyed the movie as a cheesy gory funfest. I mean, it is definitely B-Movie quality, and very fun, but I definitely would only see it once. Also, if you are a die-hard Megan Fox fan, don't be pissed at me. I just honestly don't like her, but I know a lot of people who do. But if I had to give it a rating, it's definitely a rental and should stay that way.
